Your New Years Yoga Resolution

New Years resolutions are dead easy for yoga.

What's your weakest area? Bingo. Resolution.

Follow through with some solids, naming specific poses you're gonna focus on and where you'd like to be.

What's your fave part of yoga? Bingo. Resolution.

Same again. Have some solids.

Yoga bucket list ideas:

Handstand on the edge of a building (do this last for obvious reasons).

See Seane Corn with straight hair.

Get your foot behind your head (just once, to know what it feels like).

Attend a yoga class when there are only blokes (This isn't blokes yoga, it's a normally billed yoga class, but on that day only blokes show up. One in a billion chance. Weird.).

Attend a yoga class with your fave teach where you are the only student (This isn't a one on one. It's just a class, and only you attend).

Ok enough fantasy. Back to reality. Happy 2016, J.

Guys Guide To Starting Yoga

So you're a dude and you wanna give this new yoga thang a go. Here's what to do and what to expect:

You'll Be Lonely

Expect to be the only dude in class. Bonus if another bloke shows up. But don't count on it.

Expect girls to give you a wide berth, if you are a guy at a yoga class.

Look, the girls don't know you. They came not expecting to see a guy in class. Don't sweat it. Just focus on the yoga.

Now that last sentence is the biggest DO. Focus on the yoga.

I highly advise going to class alone. Probably the worst thing you could do, is show up with a mate.

The chances of a monumental f*ck-up by mates attending their first yoga class together, rises exponentially with each additional mate.

It's Not A Social Event

If you came because you think that yogis are open minded etc, and you have interpreted this as meaning yoga is some sort of social gathering, you are entirely mistaken.

Yoga is a solitary endeavor. Even in a room full of people.

With yoga, you withdraw the senses and focus on a point on the floor, or wall, or ceiling. Not other people. In fact, you'll just end up falling over if you watch other people. Don't do it.

If you are new, and have to look around to see what people are doing, because you don't know the moves, don't look at the same person all the time.

Expect to speak to nobody but the teacher. And then it'll be to get your name and any injuries. Any more social interaction than this is a bonus.

Don't be head bobbing around the place looking for someone to speak to. Be approachable, but let people come to you. But don't count on it.

Yoga's a solitary practice over many years. Yoga friendships can take the equivalent time to develop.

What To Wear

Do not wear short shorts. 

Do wear long shorts or long pants. 

If you wear shorts, then DO wear some skins underneath. Just don't wear shorts and briefs (this is just a recipe for a wardrobe malfunction, in a couple of poses I can think of).

I wouldn't advise wearing tights either. Just not a great look.

So, long shorts with long tight legging style underwear or long pants. 

Now your top. Only take your top off in a hot yoga class where the temperature is over 100 Fahrenheit or 40 Celsius.

Any class that is conducted in lesser temperatures, leave your top on.

Now, if you wear a top that's too baggie, it'll constantly fall over your head. What? Just trust me. No big baggie tops.

You'll want a fitted top. Doesn't have to be skin tight. But does have to have minimum give.

Sweat And Body Odor

Yoga is a physical activity. Expect to sweat.

Minimize your odor by showering and using underarm before class, but don't sweat the sweat during class.

Don't wear cologne to class. Underarm yes. Pongy cologne no.

Pre-Class Preps

Hydrate before class. Don't be gulping down water during class.

Go to the toilet before class. Don't be leaving to go to the loo during class.

Mats

If you use a studio mat, you'll be expected to clean it at the end.

If you are a heavy sweater, invest in your own mat.

Om

Omming (try saying a_u_m) is the chant at the start and or end of class (sometimes during). Contrary to what you may have heard, yoga isn't religious. Spiritual yes (in that it lifts your spirit).

If you do om, know this...you can't om out of tune. In fact.

If you are all omming in tune, you are doing it wrong. Just do it and don't give a toss about how it sounds.

Partnering Up

If the teacher asks you to partner up and there is another guy in class, walk straight over to him and ask if it's ok to partner with him.

If the teacher asks you to partner up and there is another guy in class and he immediately partners up with someone, then you are fresh out of luck. 

Unless, someone approaches you, wait for the teacher to either suggest someone or you partner with the teacher. Same goes for if you are the only dude.

Now, this doesn't mean that you won't get a partner. 

Really serious yogis probably won't care who they partner with. So don't be shocked, if the super flexi yogi chick, who can do all the poses, standing next to you, gives you a nod.

Savasana

At the end of class, everybody lies around on the floor on their backs for a couple of minutes in silence. This is called savasana (shav-as-ana)

Don't fidget in savasana.

Don't skip savasana. Yoga is about being still. Savasana is where you practice being still, which is what yoga is ALL about. 

People who skip savasana are not yoga practitioners. They should go back to pilates or barre or wherever you came from.

Get A DVD And Practice First

If you are a guy and you want to get into yoga, try a DVD first. 

Try the Bryan Kest Power Yoga Complete Collection which is available from Amazon. It's an old one, but is a solid intro to yoga, and will put you firmly on the right path.

Final Words

You've been given a lot of absolutes in the above. They are designed to get you up and rolling with a minimum of fuss. 

A lot of what I've said can be bent when you know what you are doing. Until then, stick to the script.

Good luck, J.

Yoga Guru Test - Do You Pass?

Two wannabe gurus were washing dishes at the Ashram.

The dishes have to be clean for the 600 diners before 6pm meditation. Dinner starts at 5 pm sharp. Oh ho!

They are gonna have to hustle, to wash all the dishes in time for meditation.

Both of the wannabe gurus washing dishes are new to the Ashram. It's their first day.

This Ashram is a Beverly Hills Ashram, and it can afford a bank of 12 industrial dishwashers.

Each industrial dishwasher has a top and bottom drawer. Each drawer can take 25 plates and cutlery.

It takes 5 minutes to stack a drawer of dirty dishes.

When stacked full of dishes, etc, the drawers are pretty heavy. They are opened and closed hydraulically.

In order to make 6pm meditation on time, the wannabe gurus will need to work quickly.

The dishes are set to clean, after being stacked in the dishwashers. And then they are left in the dishwashers between meals.

The dishes need to be unstacked at the start of each meal, and taken to the servery, ready for that meals diners.

Each wannabe guru can unstack a dishwasher - full of cleaned dishes from the previous meal -  ready for food serving in 10 minutes. They only have access to the kitchen at 5pm exactly.

A load of 50 dirty dishes comes every 5 minutes, starting at exactly 10 minutes after meals start.

At 5pm sharply, the two wannabe gurus begin unstacking the first two dishwashers of clean dishes.

By 10 minutes after meal commences they've managed to unstack 2 dishwashers. Then one of the wannabe gurus switches to stacking the first load of dirty dishes.

The other wannabe guru keeps unstacking the clean dishes.

They work furiously at it.

6 pm comes. There are a number of dishwashers still to be unstacked (and some angry wannabe gurus who didn't get plates for their meal). There's also lots of dirty dishes to be stacked.

The two wannabes gurus miss meditation in order to finish up.

The next day the head guru calls the two wannabes into his office. He says "I notice that you both didn't make meditation last night. How come?".

One of the wannabes says, "Yes, sorry head guru, but we didn't have all the clean dishes out of the machines and all the dirty dishes in the machines."

"Oh", says the head guru. "Did you both unstack and then one of you switch to stacking when the first load of 50 came in?"

"Yes", they say.

"By my calculation", says the head guru, "there should have been two dishwasher drawers fully unstacked at 6 pm, with the other dishwashers being fully stacked with either dirty or clean dishes."

"Yes", say the wannabes. Eyes wide in awe at this feat of mathematical mastery.

"And the 2 drawers that were unstacked, they were in the same washing machine?"

"Yes", say the wannabes. Eying each other in astonishment.

"At 6 pm exactly, in what state was the top drawer of the machine with the 2 unloaded drawers?"

"It...was...closed", say the wannabes hesitatingly.

In a voice of doom, the head guru says, "Because you both missed meditation, you are cast out from this Ashram. One to the North and one to the South."

"Each of you may only return, when you can tell me why the drawer being closed, caused you to be cast out."

If you were one of the wannabe gurus, would you be able to go back to the Ashram? CU in class, J.

There's No Deity In Yoga

Buckle up, this is gonna get heavy. But do try to stick with it till the end...right let's go...

4 Types Of People

There are 4 types of people:

-- Karmis are materialistic. They work hard. They have money and material possessions.

-- Jnanis value knowledge over material possessions.

-- Yogis desire physical power. This includes the slowing of electrical signals in the brain (which is a physical process).

-- Bhaktas serve from love. They desire nothing for themselves.

Who Can Do What?

Karmis can't buy their way to god.

Jnanis can't study their way to god.

Yogis can't calm their way to god.

But the Bhaktas can love their way to god.

The only path to god is Bhakti, not yoga or karma or jnana. (Bhagavad Gita 18:55)

People And Their Agendas

So why is there so much confusion? 

Well, it all boils down to one little word in one sutra. Specifically, to the translation of that word. 

The sutra is the Niyama sutra and the word is ishvara. (Sutra 2:45)

Religious people translate the word as lord and assign a religious meaning to it.

Non-religious people translate the word as lord and mean a king or teacher (think of ye ole English knights with lances or a swami).

Then we have religious people (bhaktas) - back to our karmis, jnanis, yogis and bhaktas - who are disappointed by the religious yogis who translate the word with a religious context.

Confused much?

The last lot - the bhaktas - are correct - remember they are loving their way to god. And yoga is just slowing down your mind (This is physical. It's just less electrical signals in the brain).

As ishvara is used in other non-religious texts, assigning a purely religious meaning may be taking liberties. 

Putting It All Together

Ok, let's round it out and finish up.

If somebody thinks that the Niyama sutra translation means God (the Creator) then simply ask them if they recognize the Bhagavad Gita as an authoritative text. 

They kinda have to say yes, because you can't assign religious meaning to the sutras without assigning religious meaning to the Bhagavad Gita. 

You can however, assign religious meaning to the Bhagavad Gita without assigning religious meaning to the sutras. Well, you have to assign a religious meaning to the Gita. It's a religious book!

Where were we? Oh, yeah, so the person has said yes to the Bhagavad Gita. 

Now you just point them to 18:55 and get them to explain that (this is the bhaktas knowing god).

Now challenge them to point to where it says raja or ashtanga yogis can get to know god.

Summary

Yoga's primarily a physical practice. 

The yamas and niyamas are observances and practices that help develop control (more yoga). 

They also are morally sound, so bad things don't weigh your conscience down, causing mind fluctuations.

There's only one really contentious 'god' sutra. Translations of this word elsewhere doesn't mean god.

The Bhagavad Gita says that you can only know god through bhakti (devotional love). It doesn't say that you can get to know god through karma, jnana or yoga (raja/ashtanga). 

There's no god in 'yoga'. If there was it'd be yogad or ya-god (joking).

Christians, Muslims et al, please feel free to practice without guilt.

Peace out, J.

P.S. To all the dippy love and power to the butterflies crowd; if you are looking for religion in western yoga, you're gonna be looking for a while and you're gonna be disappointed with the results. It ain't there. 

Don't Spend Your Energy On Negativity

Some quotes from a recent talk.

On Negativity

"It's very, very important to always have positive thoughts."

"And it's very, very important never to give your thoughts to negativity."

"It's critical that you should not criticize someone else. Because you've never been in their shoes. You don't know what they've done. "

So the Creator, the Great Mathematician, you don't know what He's trying to deliver to the other person. So you shouldn't be criticizing."

"You are wasting your energy."

On Social Media

"Don't follow what the kids are doing these days. Posting selfies and telling everybody on Facebook what they are doing." "This is what I had for breakfast."

"If you seriously want to do better than the next person. You need to put in some elbow grease."

On Time

You don't have unlimited energy and life is short.

It may not feel that way if you're in your 20's or 30's, but trust me, you'll blink and you'll be in your 40s wondering what the hell happened.

No matter what your age, spend your energy wisely. Yoga is one of the best uses of your energy.

In a world full of (mis)information, yoga is a beacon of truth. Its wisdom is tried and tested. You can safely follow its path.

Best wishes for 2016, J.

Yoga: It's a Team Sport

This yoga journey we are on, is one of constant calibration.

I know guys who work the strength thing to death.

They impress you with their jump backs, via handstand, lower to koundinyasana, but then they blow the whole thing when you see them hitting a hip (non) opener (in their case).

When you are beginning, you are bringing everything along (strength, flexibility, balance). Individual things don't matter.

But when you've been at it for a while, it's a big mistake to always practice into your strength (be it balance, flexibility or strength).

You should always be studying yourself and identifying your weakest area. Then purposely work into that area.

As far as your body is concerned, yoga is a team sport. Your body is only as good as the weakest link.

That being said, if everything is humming along within close tolerances, the sum of the whole will be greater than the sum of the parts.  And you'll feel fan-freakin-tastic.

Stay true, J.

How Your Eyes Can Help You Have Stronger Inversions And Arm Balances

You know how I'm always banging on that the only wrong way to do yoga is if it injures you? Well, that's still true, but let me tell you, this comes close to breaking that rule...

Ok, practice time. Reach your hands above your head (urdhva hasta).

Join the palms together while your hands are reaching upwards. Now bring your palms to hearts centre, while flaring your elbows out to the side. Ok, that's the way to have weak inversions and arm balances.

Now do the same thing (hands reaching high, palms together), only the very first thing to do, before you even start to draw your hands to heart centre, is to bring the elbows together.

Keep the elbows together, while drawing the  them down, until they physically have to separate because of your rib cage.

Now, my friend, you have taken the first step onto the professional arm balancing podium. Welcome aboard.

What you have just learned is THE single most important principle in holding long, strong inversions and hand balances.

You just turned the eyes of your elbows forward (instead of them facing each other)

Now that you have the eyes of your elbows facing forward, NEVER let them face each other ever again. They never need to.

...plank...face 'em forward.

          ...down dog...yep, facing forward

                     ...up dog...FaCiNg FoRwArD

                               ...handstand...facing forward

koudinyasana, crow, astavakrasana, do we need to keep going? You get the message.

Elbow eyes facing towards each other is just weak, puny, vapid posing.

Get with the strength. Face 'em forward. 

Happy hand balancing, J.

Why So Sad? How Yoga Helps You Battle Depression

You can choose to be happy.

It does involve effort though. You can't just make the decision and then a sea of happiness magically appears and gently surrounds you.

So what is involved with deciding to be happy?

A couple of things:

1.   First up, you need to identify the things in your life making you a miserable git.

This isn't too hard; as they are the things you are stressed and depressed about.  

When you do this you are using the yogic principle of self-study (svadyaya).

2.    Now that you’ve identified your stressors, you need to decide whether you can actually do anything about them.

The Alcoholics Anonymous motto can help here:

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 

the courage to change the things I can, 

and the wisdom to know the difference."

So when you think about the things upsetting you, can you actually change them? Probably not (or you would change them, and then you wouldn't be depressed).

Accepting when you cannot change a situation, is embodying the yogic principle of surrender (ishvarapranidhana).

So, up to now, you've stopped struggling against the things upsetting you.

3.    The next thing to do is to start to find happiness in the things you do. Easier said than done.

1600 years ago, Patanjali said…

"In relationships, the mind becomes purified by cultivating feelings of friendliness towards those who are happy, compassion for those suffering, goodwill towards those who are virtuous, and indifference or neutrality towards those we perceive as wicked or evil." 

The word "cultivating" in the sutra = work - or practice in yoga-speak. 

So Patanjali is saying that you can actually practice (.i.e. work at) being happy. Weird, but oh so true.

Now, this isn't to say that you won't occasionally fall off the happiness horse. You will. 

Like falling out of a difficult pose, remain calm and get back into it.

Depression and stress are serious business. They can wreck your health and your relationships, leaving you lonely and broken. Yoga's great for turning this around.

Summary

Figure out what’s making you sad. 
Let go of it, if you can't change it. 
Look at what’s left in your life. 
Start finding something in there to be happy about. 
Claw your way out of the depression when you fall off the bandwagon.
Try to mend all the destruction you caused in your fall from grace.

Yoga and depression, who'd a thought? 

Hopefully, UR not so sad now, J.

Yogic Surrender - It's All About Your Ego

Over the years of practicing yoga, you'll sometimes hear the yogic theme of surrender.

Surrender...

                   ...to the pose.  Ok, fair enough. No problems here.

                                          ...to a higher power. Hmmm...not sure about this one.

It's starting to sound a bit religious, and we don't want to go there. Fortunately, we don't have to.

The whole surrender thing is about ego.

If you surrender, then you are acknowledging that there is a greater power than you (doesn't have to be a specific entity).

The point is, that if there's something greater than you, then your ego is constrained.

You know when the teacher sometimes says to set an intention?

Well, if you set an intention, or dedicate your practice to something - compassion to your fellow man, gratitude that you have the time, health and resources to attend a yoga class, anything really - well the intention or dedication, is something greater than your practice.

By virtue of dedication, your practice is relegated to second position. The thing you have dedicated your practice to is in first position.

This is game over for the ego. And before the game has even begun.

No need to compete. You know the outcome. Ego may as well head to the side lines and sit this one out. Not needed.

This is great for you, as it gives your ego a break and you can just get on with practicing, without the pressure to perform. Try it.

Next time you are invited to set an intention. Give your ego a break.

Dedicate your practice to say grace, and then try to transition gracefully. If you fall out of a pose, have the good grace not to scowl or berate yourself. Gracefully, come back into the pose. It's easy.

And it's good for you. Get your yogic surrender on. CU in class, J.

...On Not Practicing What You Preach

Don't you hate it when you say something is wrong AND THEN you turn around and do it yourself?

Well, I'm guilty your honor. You see.

I said that "good yoga teachers don't talk their own book". Then what do I go and do?

Write a politically motivated post on a yoga blog. Duh!

Well the post has been removed, and my sincere apologies to all you readers who had the misfortune of reading aforementioned inflammatory rant.

Please be the better yogis and forgive a misguided zealot.

Rest assured that I'll be sticking to the script in future.

Anarchistic politics, free market economics and trading markets are henceforth cast into the fiery furnace of hell and damnation as far as this blog is concerned.

Much thanks and appreciation to Kathryn for your bravery in calling me on this one.

Every time you call me, I inch forth to becoming a better person. Only 500 gazillion light years to go and I'll be presentable to the general public.

Happy practicing, J.